The entire evening got away from me yesterday and I never followed up on my #ToDo list ... I did get everything done EXCEPT re-reading my novel. I couldn't bring myself to do it even though I need to get the feel back. I started to but then I just got depressed when I realized I was probably never going to be able to finish it ... the thought just froze me and I wondered what all this struggle over the DECADES has been for; suffering for most of my life and then managing nothing in the end ...
@thewebrecluse Look at all you got accomplished yesterday. Take pride in your accomplishments. They're awesome! I accomplished absolutely nothing I needed to all week--in fact, I rescheduled a couple appointments I should have gone to. Depression is very difficult, but please know you are not alone in it and you are loved simply for existing and being your unique self.
If you're thinking of doing something drastic, please call or text 988.
@caaddison88 Chronic depression is my constant state since forever ... growing up in an abusive household, getting bullied, dealing with racists etc. This isn't a new state for me. Part of my anxiety centers around not accomplishing the things that were important to me. All my life I let others convince me that my own dreams weren't worthwhile because I didn't value myself. Finally reaching a point of being able to start working on my dreams but not being able to, for various reasons, sucks.
@thewebrecluse I hear you, dearie. Try to find little 5- to 15-minute pockets of time to work at your desired projects. Also, I highly recommend participating in National Novel Writing Month activities and groups (official month is November) to help keep you in the groove, if you haven't already.
@caaddison88 I used to do that sort of stuff but it was always something to distract me from finishing my novel which is something that I struggle with and often look for excuses to avoid. Nanowrimo and stuff ... I just found I was writing anything easy but not doing the real work I needed to on my book. I have to focus on what is truly important to me it's just hard when I have health issues and just life gets in the way and runs me into the ground. I'm exhausted mentally and physically.
@thewebrecluse I'm so sorry you're having such a struggle. I sent a prayer to for God to send you peace and strength of body and spirit. *safe hugs*