Relationships are too hard.
@lilyunsub: I have found they are too chaotic, for a variety of reasons. They include but are not limited to...
Many initiate relationships with personalities and energy/vibes they cannot maintain, and they expect that I do the same. When they learn I did not do so, they get weird, and it's a problem that winds up eventually ending the relationship.
I do not have telepathy.
I am a literalist. I don't ask questions I don't want answers to, and I go by the answers I receive.
@lilyunsub: That all happens sometimes, yeah. There's also the part where the novelty wears off and things for them don't feel "exciting" anymore. There's also when they have reservations, even resentments they keep quiet about -- though that is understandable -- but that wind up building and causing the end of things. Then there's when their friends don't like you and may even sabotage things out of jealousy. Then there's when their exes aren't actually their exes or their "friends" are...
@lilyunsub: ...more than friends.
Relationships are more trouble than they are worth. I came to that conclusion last year.
@thedisasterautist I still feel like they are important and worth trying. Just stronger boundaries and a lot of communication and staying true to self. There are good people who love deeply and grow and help people, I know because we exist.
@thedisasterautist yeah, thats amplified when they have unmedicated adhd. End up feeling like hearing my voice is a dopamine fix rather than actually listening to what I have to say. It feels so hollow. Or when they build an idea of self or future that revolves around you being/doing x y z and suddenly the loss of you or your lower capacity triggers all the insecurities and you are blamed for it. When they try to fulfill an idea of who they should be rather than who they are and its your fault.
@thedisasterautist I do that too. I'm very open about where we are, what we are doing, goals, things we are dealing with and possible issues that might come up (with having dissociative amnesia). But end up being the person others want to carry their baggage, to help them 'change', like I'm a gatekeeper to the self they want to be. We're always just ourselves and thats often 'amazing' at first and then people expect you to change cos they are there or say/do x y z. :/