: another #AspieLife thing I somewhat recently wrote about over on IG
It's an issue that's bothered means been a thorn in my side since I was a teenager.
#neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid #language #communication #culture #behavior
@thedisasterautist this, that's why I have learned to let more things go than a neurotypical may. For right or for wrong i sometimes say the wrong things and that should be ok to someone that knows me.
@dratino: Yep, and the bananas thing is that not infrequently when they learn we've been letting things go because of them and/or others, they tell us we shouldn't. Then if we try that for a minute, they very obviously dislike it because they feel admonished, inferior, like we're "trying to be difficult", being nitpicky, and such. I've found many, if not most people in general don't think about what they say casually but rather just run with their emotions or just spill.
@dratino: And it's only when those situationally flexible, unwritten, and ambiguous "rules" get broken that they notice and/or get all bent out of shape about it... when it's other people doing it.
"The ground was covered with eggshells" is something I've said since I was about ten when asked about how things went in different situations.
@thedisasterautist you just found the words I have been feeling for a long time. Written communication as in social media brings a whole new paradigm which we need to learn and use more unwritten rules. The positive part is that we often notice patterns that many miss.
@dratino: I find social media a lot easier to navigate, primarily because I can screenshot things, and when people tell me "That's what I said" and such, I can show them exactly what they said. Then when and if they claim I took things out of context, I can show them *everything* they and everyone said and in order, and then I can ask them to join me (and others, if they want) to do a postmortem on the communications being discussed. When I do that IRL in convo, people can revise (lie).
@thedisasterautist try to teach this everyday at work to people now being raised by 10 second video clips on random topics 🤣
@dratino: I want them to learn the lesson that *thinking* is cool and that it takes very little time and even less energy to communicate clearly. Alas, what it takes is a modicum of self-control, which while often claimed and lauded is deeply unfashionable.