The college friend who found me via one of my photo retail sites this past week, who I haven't had any contact w/ since early 2010s, is still married, living in Oregon but w/ 4 kids now.
He said he's started a music blog & that's what made him think of me. Not entirely sure what that's about.
After my divorce, 90% of the people I knew scattered to the wind and his reemergence in my life has left me feeling confused & unsure of how much I want to share about my life now. It's kind
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that he reached out and a part of me would like to reconnect but there's the part of me that wants to keep that world as far away from me as possible. There's still too much pain I feel over how I got treated by people who I thought were my friends.
And my mental and physical health took a huge blow, leaving me feeling very vulnerable.
I guess I've got some thinking to do about how I want to proceed. 😞
I have no idea why because no one said anything to me. I’d ask to hang out & there were always excuses or no return calls.
He was the one who cheated but still maintained a social life where we lived. A friend who had been my maid of honor stopped talking to me as did a friend who I had been her maid of honor.
I’d go to the clubs, cafe’s, etc. we frequented and people avoided me.
I ended up moving out of the state because I just couldn’t deal with all the memories.
@see_the_sus Ugh, that would drive me nuts enough to just confront someone to figure it out.
I have had divorced friends (met them after the divorce) who told horror stories of vindictive smear campaigns of ex-spouses. They knew because either a true friend checked with them, OR they were read the riot act by someone who bought the stories.
Fresh start is probably more healthy approach than my need to corner someone.
I’m 100% certain he wouldn’t have done anything like that. He wasn’t/isn’t the type. We’re still in touch due to having our student loans consolidated and needing to deal with loan bureaucracy from time to time.
As for others or his new wife, who the fuck knows.
@see_the_sus That kind of thing makes me immediately question motive and wtf does he want. The divorce plague is wild to me.
I sure as hell will not have an affair with a married person nor am I interested in having a long-distance relationship. My marriage ended because of his affair and I refuse to cause harm. Plus, I also won't date people who are recently divorced. I won't be someone's rebound.
I do miss being in a relationship but I'm still not sure I'm emotionally strong enough.
@see_the_sus I just can’t be bothered. I have everything exactly like I want (and like) it. I don’t want to compromise anymore. That sounds awful, but I’m perfectly content with friends, family and myself.
@see_the_sus Scattered to the wind as in fell out of touch or as in chose sides with your ex?
If the latter, maybe there is genuine regret? If the former, stuff happens. I'd say a cordial response has little risk without much investment?
Of course, I have just ignored some who reach out because I play it out and think "But where will this go?" and don't want the disruption.🙂 So I don't practice what I preach.