I think I'm a pretty good writer, and many people have expressed that thought, too. However, I am like many writers—I crave feedback, and I crave praise. It's pathetic, I know, and yet it is a very common feeling with writers. SO TODAY I perished when my writing professor, who I respect a great deal, wrote a comment that said, "Good posts. Set the standard for the class." Yes, that's the stuff, funnel that dopamine directly into my brain. I mean come on!
AWESOME!!! 🎉
We all deserve feedback and praise. It's a form of respect and there is nothing wrong with wanting it. ♥️
As an artist I can relate to feeling guilt over wanting others to pat me on the back and then I'm often uncomfortable when my photographs are praised and I;m told I'm a good photographer.
@see_the_sus Yes that's it, I crave the validation so I'm cringe, and then I'm uncomfortable when people offer it. HAHA good ol' brain, doin what it otter.
I don't know about you but praise wasn't something I got a lot of as a kid; whether at home or school. And I also wasn't taught it was ok to want this.
@see_the_sus There was some praise, but mostly it was being labeled a screw-up and worse (often the pattern for kids with undiagnosed ADHD, of course). When I left high school, I basically moved out and exchanged my life-long friend group for my girlfriend's, who went to a different high school. Best decision I ever made; I made my own reputation and it saved me. Then she married me, so bonus. :)
That was not praise, as I’m sure you’ve figured out.
After high school left the state for college and discovered a world of people who knew nothing about me and accepted me for who I was, even if I still felt unwanted. I’m almost 53 and can finally accept, most of the time, compliments.
As for my family, eh that’s still a pit of crap.
Not a rant but declaration of health. Job well done.
@pr10n @see_the_sus
We can have 2 families in life:
The one we are born into and the one we make for ourselves as we live our lives among others. Some of the friends we make in life will be closer than our birth families. That is OK, and probably as it should be. It's growth. Congrats on your successful growing season!
@attilatheblond @see_the_sus Like many things, it's hard to see the progress when you're in the heat of it, but looking back you can say, "See that? We built that! It was so hard, but we did a good job."
I flee home to my two feline monsters. 😊
My major step to keep working on is to remind myself, and believe it, that their judgments have nothing to do with me and to not take their abuse personally.
I'm grateful for my cats and the beautiful and amazing folks here on this platform. ♥️
@see_the_sus I've learned so much from therapy, and I'm so comfortable with myself, that when I'm with my family of origin, (who apparently don't believe in therapy not for a religious reason but because I guess they're brain snobs?) I just want to flee to my house and my wife and our empty nest. I've grown out of my birth family, I have given birth to myself you know? I got me here, and heaven, and the people who love me despite my flaws. I earned my happiness. I did the work. Hmm rant over.