I heard a suggestion that if you have gone through a manipulative circumstance, whether it be family, friendship, or a romantic relationship; then you should keep a journal where you write about what you think love is on a daily basis. It is expected that as you grow in hindsight you will discover that love is obviously not what you just went through that at one point you did indeed think was love.

https://medium.com/hello-love/the-way-of-love-connection-instead-of-manipulation-602fc9ebfe1c