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"Day 1,826: my attempts at causing this wretched human to die by making him overheat have failed; for the time being, my brother is currently testing his organs for weaknesses, and with any luck, we can rid ourselves of this awful human soon enough..."
Hard to believe these two are both five years old (as of early February).
Maybe in another five years, they'll stop acting like overpowered kittens 😹