Whenever contestant behavior annoys me, I remember that they're showing us the "most interesting" of their footage.

Who's next to go? Chidi?

Coulter has an upper lip like the doctors in Eye of the Beholder.

No shade, just facts.

Oh and then you have to come back and say "oh whoopsydoodle, Will, I couldn't find your dead dad." You cannot go off to look for Jopari and then say "no promises", LIN.

Today's Coulter ensemble brought to you by the Ann B. Davis collection...

Serafina has Gargamel on his fucking knees and doesn't behead him? I want my money back.

Rise! And Shine!
And accidentally kill the Authority!

I feel like Lin-Manuel is the new Fred Armisen : these dudes just show up in every-fuckin-thing. I don't need to see your mugs on every show. I just don't.

Thousands applied to be Asrial's unpaid assistant. He could send any of them to rappel into the abyss. But no, he doesn't want to share the glory.

Witches, man.

Turn my back on you twice, shame on you.

And the cardinal says to her, he says, "Well, actually. . . "

Never trust a man wearing red.

Fuck, I'm so interested in this scene I can't even stop to be snarky for a second.

Oh fuck, Mary, is that fuckin' AMBER? Whatcha gonna do with that amber, *MARY*? Fuck.

Harpies are going hard, daaaaamn.

Oi, Roger. You like like shit, mate.

If they fuck up my favorite scene though? I'll be so mad I'll flip tables and shake my fist at clouds. It's the most flippant and ridiculous thing and I love it more every time I read it.

It's also my favorite part of the book so it's weird to see it all laid out like this.

A lot more time spent on the F-plot lately.