#FirstCoffeeThoughts

People that don't know me often call me a pessimist because I have a realistic worldview.

It takes a tremendous amount of delusion, denial, and purposeful ignorance to be able to survive by refusing to see the world for how it is. The amount of energy and calculated effort to ensure a constant stream of manufactured fantasy must be exhausting and terrifying when cracks start to form and you have to quickly patch them with any lies you can or else lose your mind.

1/

I think the constant fear of illusions breaking down or truth seeping in or realizations occurring would be incredibly anxiety inducing and create such unconscious (or conscious) stress on the body, mind, and spirit. I imagine it would wear a person down and cause a lot of health problems.

Denial is difficult, contrary to popular belief. You have to really work hard to find ways of living in two worlds at once; the real world and maintaining your own personal one every minute of the day.

2/

I recognize that millions of people do this because there are so many people trapped in rage and anger and true pessimism ... emotions and beliefs that come as a result of the collisions of hope and reality I'm always talking about.

The constant battle of trying to lie to ones self while at the same time doing everything in ones power to block out or shield themselves from truth but still having realizations leak through despite all efforts ... those constant reminders must be painful.

3/

What I have seen in my life often with people is a deep desire to be "awake" and a willingness to challenge themselves and push themselves to be better people but when that awakening happens and the truth comes rolling in ... what they realize is that the grass isn't greener when you live in truth.

They also realize that the truth doesn't set you free, it only imprisons you in a new reality that completely obliterates the one you were hiding within before.

They realize how lonely it is.

4/

It's lonely fighting a battle that is unwinnable ... it's lonely fighting a battle that your friends, coworkers, family don't fight themselves - and worse still - are unbelievers and delusional themselves ... it's lonely fighting a battle of seeing things how they are and not having anyone to talk with them about because everyone around you drinks the same delusional Kool Aid ... it's lonely realizing you are powerless to change 99% of every painful truth you see ...

5/

If you have seen They Live then you know the scene where two best friends are beating each other to death because one of them refuses to see the truth ...

When people "wake up" and look around them and realize they've been living in a lie, manufactured by oppressors and they have been slaves the whole time ... there is disbelief, fear ... and then ... a profound sense of helplessness that leads to anger ... and that's where most people stay; terrified in anger.

https://youtu.be/dN8Z7y_QcwE

6/

Jealousy, guilt, shame, anxiety, anger, and depression are ALL derivatives of FEAR ... so all those raging, negative, miserable, pissed off people ... it's always about fear.

I always found that interesting ... why is the truth of the world so terrifying to people? Because they realize they are powerless? Because they feel like fools who have allowed themselves to be brainwashed and groomed into giving away most of their lives to greedy psychopaths? Because they can't change that truth?

7/

What do you do when all of your delusions are gone?

What do you do when you can't UNSEE something about the world that you are trapped in?

What do you do when you can't go back in time and change the course of your whole life so that it doesn't feel completely wasted and a total lie?

What do you do when there is no solution to the pain, the slavery, the unfairness, the profound oppression in yours and everyone else's lives regardless of gender or race?

What can you even do?

8/

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴: 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘴, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘐 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭. - Epictetus

𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦: 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵; 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵; 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺. - Marcus Aurelius

9/

𝘋𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦, 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭, 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘱𝘳𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘺, 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯’𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘧𝘪𝘭 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧? - Marcus Aurelius

𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭. 𝘖𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. - Seneca

That is the key right there "conscious of its own feebleness".

10/

Seeing the world how it truly is and being your best self within it, both for yourself and for others, upholding goodness, kindness, and truth in the face of madness, greed, anger, and fear ... that is what real strength looks like.

That is what mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual strength should be used for ... for the good, for the survival, for the uplifting of others ... not for locking reality out, not for building a fortress to hide in to protect only your own interests.

11/

You have no true power to change the reality we ALL inhabit as permanently oppressed, manipulated, groomed, and mistreated human beings.

If you don't believe you are the same as all the other chattel that the 1% and others push around, lie to, and see as inferior and disposable then you are indeed living in your own delusional state.

We are ALL enslaved within a system that pits us against each other and relies on stupidity and willful ignorance to upkeep the lies we're fed.

12/