New York, NY (April 1st, 2023) – In a statement made today by travel executives, it was announced that airlines all over the country will be adapting a new policy where...basses, guitars, and other stringed instruments will now... be stored in the landing gear compartments of flights.

Despite years of complaints filed by musicians who claim their expensive and beloved instruments are sometimes destroyed, airline CEOs said, "F*** it, just throw them down there where the wheels go"