I was pulled out of a shower and towel bar broken off wall when I was body slammed into wall and on my head. I was jumped in broad daylight by white men in a nice neighborhood only to have other white men come save me. I had a woman ask me what it was like to know I was going to die and noone cared. My mother once told me if I had lived only two years as someone had once said she would have her life back. My grandmother could be pretty evil at times. Either gender can be good or horrible.
@AnnetteTRemain So sorry and thanks for sharing you had the right not to. Remember your story is your story. I know firsthand how toxic family can be. When my dad died in April, all my mom could do is talk about how evil he was to her and my brothers posted on SM what a great guy he was. But that wasn't me and my sister's experience. We loved our dad but because of shitty life choices and outdated ideas about family genes, he pretty much cut us off after the parents divorced.
@lisaannlm Thank you and I am ok with sharing. I don't share all my stories. But ones I shared I am past if that makes sense. I share because as a older survivor it could help others. I am sorry for what you went through and I get having complicated feelings and situation with how to present someone you had complicated relationship with. Sometimes I think it's also sugarcoating or denial for self protection so to speak.
@AnnetteTRemain My sister and I allow them to have their feelings but we lean on each other whenever one of us needs to cry or vent about our loss and the regrets we have or the anger we have over the situation. And I stood up to my mom, told her her making it about herself or his failures wasn't helpful to us as we move through the grief process. I imagine it will all flood back during the holidays because as kids those were when we had good memories not pain and drama.
@lisaannlm I'm glad you both have someone to lean on. Grief is certainly hard cycle to get through. And many times it repeats until the pain is less fresh.