emotions are so consuming and music is being completely overtaken by them and the last few years have been so many painful and difficult things that I wasn't sure if it'd kill me or not to actually feel them. It felt so unsafe in my own head that I couldn't write, couldn't let myself feel anything because thats what abusive relationships with narcissists are like and I was scared that the emotions would come and never stop. Its taken a long long time but I've written something again finally.