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Jumping the shark is rarely as much fun as A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child.

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It’s a bitter irony that 12 Strong was released only three years before Kabul crumbled faster than Kevin Spacey’s career. Then again, this movie has as much to do with the war in Afghanistan as the Arab uprising had to do with Lawrence of Arabia.

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The Tax Collector is the second-best David Ayer-directed film, but it’s far from the best David Ayers-penned movie, though it does put Shia LaBeouf's natural weirdness to good use.

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With some actors, ‘less’ is more; with Andy Samberg ‘nothing’ is better. Moreover, you know you’re in trouble when your female protagonist reminds you of Aubrey Plaza, only more annoying.

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Crimes of the Future is a near-perfect recipe for vintage David Cronenberg.

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The Image of You is not just stupid; it’s Fight Club-stupid.

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Under its pretense of social commentary, The Stolen Valley is really just a dumbed-down Tex-Mex Thelma & Louise with a happy ending.

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Many movies try to find horror in everyday stuff. The Coffee Table makes it look easy. Or maybe it’s the others that needlessly complicate matters.

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Mother of the Bride has one thing and one thing only going for it, and that’s cute little Miranda Cosgrove. The rest is contrived, predictable, and perfunctory.

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Midnight at the Paradise turns out to be profoundly shallow, but then it never said it was deep. The heroine’s father is a movie critic who “always” said, “It’s a movie. Let it be a movie.” Words to live by, as far as writer Bill Robertson and director Vanessa Matsui are concerned.

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Much is made of the leopards’ “skill to hide, their skill to climb, their skill to hunt,” but there’s precious little hunting and no climbing. Well, at least they got the hiding part right.

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There’s nothing wrong per se with a self-imposed Thoreau-esque exile. What truly concerns me is the suggestion that doomsday-prepping lunatic fringers may be onto something.

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Darkness of Man has delusions of being neo-noir. Accordingly, it is loaded with voice-over narration by the hero, played by Jean-Claude Van Damme. You can easily see, or rather, hear what’s wrong with that.

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Bloodline Killer plays like the sequel to a movie nobody made. At the same time, it’s a blatant rip-off of two movies that have been made and remade ad nauseam (Halloween and Scream). The filmmakers probably figured that a general sense of deja vu would be just as good as a backstory.

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Who could blame me for thinking that The Clan of the Cave Bear was full of shit? Here’s a movie wherein Neanderthals look like James Remar with a sloping forehead and a terminal case of bad hair day, while Cro-Magnons look like 1980s Daryl Hannah.

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Ruthless stars the unlikeliest avenging badass. I don’t think a lot of people were clamoring to see Dermot Mulroney of all people kicking ass and taking names, nor do I think that this movie will make many converts to that particular cause. That said, this little Death Wish wannabe is nothing to be ashamed of and may even be something to take a little pride in.

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Ghostbusters: Afterlife had no idea what makes the Ghostbusters tick, and co-writers Gil Kenan and Jason Reitman still don’t have a clue. Like Paul Rudd quoting Ray Parker Jr.’s hit song, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire knows the words but not the music.

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Three Day Millionaire is both derivative of a far superior work and completely oblivious to what made the original work great.

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Miranda Veil is a wonderfully schizophrenic film — a morbidly twisted love story, a peyotized road movie, and a deranged black comedy.

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The Idea of You quickly devolves into a How Stella Got Her Groove Back/gender-flipped Notting Hill hybrid knockoff, and the potential for a deeper exploration of a woman’s independence and self-discovery is overshadowed by the typical Hollywood romcom.

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