Show more
JP  

The strongest emotion that these young men and women inspire is indifference. You don’t particularly want to see them stabbed to death, but it would be no great loss if they did.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

Without Men was made by a woman and it revolves around women, but is told by one man, seen through the eyes of another man, and it appeals to the lowest common male denominator.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

They took a thinking man’s videogame and made a retarded fucking movie about it

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

It is said that history repeats itself, first as tragedy and then as farce. The Death of Stalin doesn’t so much repeat as reenacts history as political satire/black comedy and the result, neither very satirical nor comical, is tragically heinous.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

You can make a film about cancer with humor in it, but you can’t make a comedy about cancer because what the hell’s funny about that?

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

In principle, I’m not averse to what is essentially a one-man play starring Dafoe, were it not for a setup that seems specifically designed to beggar belief.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

The Music of Chance is a circular, specular Möbius strip of a film. At the same time, its apparent premise is direct and familiar to the point of being self-explanatory.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

Modern Romance is a precursor of sorts to such jealousy-themed tortured dramas as Claude Chabrol’s aptly titled L’Enfer and Deep Water; that it's actually pretty funny makes it all the more disturbing.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

A pretty good movie could be made starring Christian Slater and Demián Bichir; this one ain’t it, though.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

1
JP  

I guess ‘Delayed, Cancelled or Overbooked Planes, Trains Only Once a Day and Christmas Trees Because Why Not? It Is Christmas After All’ doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, although it doubtless would have been a more honest title.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

No Good Deed goes unpunished. Sort of like watching this movie.
ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

Only Kevin Sorbo could say, “Tomorrow you’ll be cursing the day you ever met Gojun Pye” and keep a straight face (it helps that that isn’t by far the dumbest fucking thing Kevin Sorbo has ever said).

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

Looking for Her is a lesbian romcom. Why don’t I call it a romcom, period? Because the lesbian angle is the only thing that sets it apart from a plethora of other romantic comedies.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

Holiday Hotline is sort of like 84 Charing Cross Road with turkeys instead of rare books, and every bit as dumb as that sounds.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

Falcon Rising is a textbook example of counting your chickens before they hatch. Touted as the first installment of a new action franchise that was going to “produce 1-2 movies a year,” it was dead on arrival, and it’s easy to see why it never got past the opening salvo.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

Chariot claims to be “inspired by actual events.” The movie may very well have been inspired by actual crackpots who routinely dream up implausible conspiracy theories, but the events depicted in it — “fictionalized” or not — bear no relation whatsoever to reality, history, or common sense.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

Your Lucky Day claims to be “based on the American Dream.” Sadly, it’s not the life story of Dusty Rhodes, although that would have made a lot more fucking sense.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

This sometimes baffling, sometimes tought-provoking drama is a huge qualitative leap for star Grace Van Dien — even if she is too old for the part.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

The Creator is a high concept wherein an ersatz Pinocchio meets artificial intelligence, and whoever thought of it must have been literally high — so much so that they completely forgot that Spielberg had already done it in his overrated A.I.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

0
JP  

The film ends with a “To Be Continued” intertitle, though hardly anything got started in the first place. It’s like I just sat through 100 minutes of setup and all I have to show for it is the expectation that a second helping might offer some sort of payoff.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

1
Show more

JP
@[email protected]

CounterSocial is the first Social Network Platform to take a zero-tolerance stance to hostile nations, bot accounts and trolls who are weaponizing OUR social media platforms and freedoms to engage in influence operations against us. And we're here to counter it.

Resources

Developers

What is CounterSocial?

Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

counter.social

More…