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The Raven (1935) takes itself deathly seriously, which is why the film transcends the horror genre and enters, albeit unwittingly, the realm of (self) parody.

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It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that a Lovecraft adaptation starring Nicholas Cage and featuring Tommy Chong is a terrible idea, but that’s not all that Color Out of Space does wrong.

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Benicio del Toro is a better Pablo Escobar than Javier Bardem, the same way Escobar: Paradise Lost is a better film about the drug lord than Loving Pablo — but the latter only marginally.

humbertroget.wordpress.com/202

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Proxima was shot at various European Space Agency training facilities, and there’s no shortage of exercises, drills, and tests. This material is both illustrative and enlightening.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

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The Mill and the Cross is one of the best biopics about a painter — or, for that matter, any artist — because it concerns itself less with the painter and more with his work; that is, it knows that the ‘what’ and ‘how’ matter more than the ‘who.’

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For Ernst Lubitsch, making laugh was like making love, and he wasn’t the slightest bit interested in instant gratification.

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The Bike Thief strives to be to the Romanian expat community in London what Ladri di Biciclette was to the post-war Roman working class, and what A Better Life was to Mexican immigrants in Los Angeles, but completely misunderstands what those two films were trying to say.

humbertroget.wordpress.com/202

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Dwayne Johnson fights a tiger so phony-looking that I kept expecting it to jump up in the air and say ‘They’re grrreat!’

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Apex is an ironic title for something that feels more like a nadir. This is not only the latest but also the dumbest version of the Most Dangerous Game plot, with the would-be hunters spending more time hunting each other while their supposed prey sits idly by watching them kill one other.

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The Poughkeepsie Tapes may be the perfect found footage movie; unfortunately, it is completely devoid of humanity.

humbertroget.wordpress.com/202

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Contact exists in a limbo somewhere in between Close Encounters of the Third Kind’s unabashed childlike wonder and Ad Astra’s adult ‘we’re alone in the Universe’ pragmatism — which is a polite way of saying that it is neither fish nor fowl.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

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Lords of Chaos makes me channel my inner John Cusack-in-High Fidelity and wonder, do Norwegians listen to black metal because they are miserable, or are they miserable because they listen to black metal? As for me, I know I was miserable because I was watching this fucking movie.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

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Who but Jason Statham in Crank or a very small child (about Peter Dinklage’s height) would believe you if you told them they have 90 minutes to live? Possibly the same people who’d laugh watching this movie, since only the very credulous will believe what passes for humor in this film to be funny.

humbertroget.wordpress.com/202

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Paterson is a monotonous, repetitive film, but then so is poetry.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

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This documentary is a poetic, scientific, and philosophical meditation on how meteors and comets have influenced ancient religions, cultures, and topographies around the world. It is also mischievously droll and refreshingly unselfconscious.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

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Bergman Island is a title that invites comparisons with the incomparable, but this film is not so much a pastiche of Ingmar Bergman’s work as something of a satire on people who take the Swedish director’s films way too seriously.

humbertroget.wordpress.com/202

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I'm sorry to report that Alyssa Milano does not forgo her long-standing ‘no nudity clause’ in Brazen — and I'm more sorry for her than for me, because that's about the only thing that could have saved this movie.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

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Reminds me of Ambrose Bierce’s famous book review; “The covers of this book are too far apart.” It doesn’t help either that half the movie seems to occur in slow motion.

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Code 8 is X-Men minus the budget and the A-list cast, and that’s the good news. It is a very imaginative movie, but it has absolutely zero curiosity about its own characters.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

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Did the director figure that, given enough time, one can look at history as if it were mythology, without the hindrance of having to make a distinction between right and wrong?

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