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Oh my. You’ll laugh. It’s worth it. (gift link) https://wapo.st/4gaEILh
Here it is in Archives, in case you don't want to give your email address to WaPo.
https://archive.ph/G2X34
@estherschindler
Could also be subtitled "A Boy and His Donut", (with apologies to Harlan Ellison).
@estherschindler
"He strode over, taking steps with the bony protrusions that extended from his ankle joints and were encompassed by the tanned carcasses of two deceased mammals.
“It is best for society if I reproduce with you,” he informed the female. “But in your case, in addition to being a duty, it will be a pleasure.”
If you can't read the link (damned "gifted articles"!), here's a peek behind the paywall...
https://archive.ph/LKUnh