Telling you this here, too:
So, our dryer is right next to a window where there are some colorful and fairly lifelike little birds made of layers of paper etc. As I was shaking out a sheet prior to folding it, one of the little birds fell to the floor and there it was when I looked down and I swear to my marrow that for a moment I thought I'd laundered a dead bird ... which could only mean I'd slept with one.

That second of horror cannot be erased by the truth. I am not okay.