Ah yes, 5 years ago when I got my Global Entry card because I was hoping to do more international travel. As always, I have impeccable timing. 😂

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Jacob Burns Film Center: We're hosting a Summer Action series of classic movies called "Big Trouble in Little Pleasantville"
Me: That sounds great, I'd love to see "Big Trouble in Little China" in the theater!
Jacob Burns Film Center: Oh, no, that's not part of the series.

Don't take your emojis out in the heat today...

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The Internet really has changed everything. Before the Internet, if you thought to yourself, 'I should look that up on the Internet', it would be immediately followed by 'whatever the fuck that is.'

I went down to the Jersey shore today with my daughter and brought back some swag. This includes these two aliens and I've got some questions. Why are only some of the aliens apparently naked? They both seems pretty happy, is there some probing involved here?

Happy Father's Day!

Hey, you down there! Come on up, I see a kid with a newspaper boat...

Aliens: "Humans, please remember to spay and neuter your billionaires"

There is a parallel universe where the movie Cast Away is exactly the same except that Wilson is a golf ball

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The Empire shows its support for Pride month...

I hired someone to follow me around and play The Price is Right losing horn sound whenever I do something stupid.

I'm beginning to think this was not a very good idea.

(The Price is Right losing horn sound plays)

https://www.myinstants.com/en/instant/the-price-is-right-losing-horn/

I've had some cards printed up that I'm hoping will further reduce my need to verbally interact with the humans.

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Every day I like to set fly a metaphorical butterfly. Which sounds delightful unless, you too, are a student of Chaos Theory.

You're one in a million!

Which means, given the current world population, there are approximately 8,100 "you"'s.

I'm gonna want some gas for this...

https://gizmodo.com/a-little-laughing-gas-can-help-treat-depression-small-1847066477