OK, crap, all I can ask now is that you please don't open the box.

I don't like being a conspiracy theorist, but folks, I don't think this is the real Melania.

.

I'm finding I'm having a much better time dealing with this election since I've gotten this sign for my mailbox.

The fictional character I am in my head
The fictional character I am in real life

Thanks, Voyager, now my mom is going to be asking why I don't call.

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Happy Godzilla Day, to all that celebrate!
On his 70th birthday let us remember this holy agent for without him who would devour the Christmas angel?

Little known fact.
Car horns sound like a goose because the original horn on the Model T was just a goose strapped to the steering column.

ACTUAL QUOTE!

Trump: "I want to protect the women of our country ... I'm gonna do it whether the women like it or not"

100% not creepy, right?

Your annual reminder

Bezos rebuttal, first draft.

There's nothing quite like personalized E-mails...

It is done (boring sticker and all).

I'm having MacDonald's Quarter Pounders shipped in from Colorado for each and every person in the poster. My treat!

Happy National Black Cat Day!

(RIP, you beautiful little nightmare)

The only argument against abortion is "God told me it was wrong"
So, I asked God if abortion was wrong, and she told me, "Of course not".
What, your god disagrees? Well then you got suckered by a lying go-between. I suggest you talk to God directly and ask to see some ID.

"I'm gonna build a Social Media site...with blackjack...and hookers..."
Bender, NO!

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"Pulling Their Onions"
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?