Okay. The first follow-up appointment has been scheduled... For an hour from now.

Aaaand cue the anxiety fuck fuck fuck

Nothing like a little health scare to remind one of that whole looming-mortality thing.

I have been interacting with people with whom I remember no interaction. There's mail here that I don't remember getting. It's pretty fucked.

Like, it looks like I wasn't HERE for two days either so... I really am deeply troubled, confused, and just overall disoriented.

Have any of you ever had this happen?

I think I just like.... DISSOCIATED two entire days.

Like, I have exactly zero- ZERO memory of them.

I'm pretty sure I don't need to go around apologizing to people or anything because I don't think I did anything crazy but... I just don't know.

Went to the ER; got a blood draw and a drug test. No surprises, of course.

So I am just left going WTF... how the actual fuck does a sober person just LOSE two days like that? I'm going to ask about my behavior over the time span. People I trust.

Farts so bad your pants look like they took a frag grenade

*Taps mic*

Ahem.

Snapple has never actually been that good.

*ducks, runs*

Gonna develop a martial arts form for old codgers.

Weaponized walkers. Canes registered as lethal weapons.

And the deadly, deadly art of dual-wielded bamboo back scratchers. 👴👊💥

Any ex-addict in the damn world could have told you that Ronald Dump was snorting speed.

He did it before the debate with Hillary. #Sniff

He did it probably every damn day he was in the White House.

We really should start a YouTube alternative with responsible ownership and blackjack and hookers.

Capitalism and the YouTube Exodus- Why Are So Many People Quitting YouTube?https://youtu.be/tAfaXFIcuvc

Morning.

Was just seized with a sudden, gripping nostalgia for a time 24-odd years ago.

Talk about simpler times.

I'm not going full vegan or anything by any means. For one, dairy is awesome. I'll probably even still eat beef occasionally- but I am definitely going to be a lot more aware of my consumption- and there will be less of it.

Pigs too.

Chickens? I'm on the fence. They're literally little dinosaurs and would gladly- GLADLY eat us if the sizes were reversed. 😮

My impulse was the same as with most any other critter looking at me in a not-unfriendly way: I wanted to give it treats and scritches. I specifically had an impulse to go back in, get something to feed the moo cow, and then attempt to befriend it.

And I have been struggling ever since with the dichotomy of that and my American, beef-heavy diet. I wasn't unaware of the beef industry's shenanigans before, but this experience put a face to the concepts. I can't justify it.