I don't wish to participate in reality, but as a millennial stereotype, I apparently want a participation-in-reality trophy.

It's cute how the various retailers that fill my inbox with spam assume I can afford stuff.

I haven't seen 1 and 2 Body Problem, so I'd probably just be lost.

Sure, my life is empty, but not “become remotely invested in a celebrity coupling” empty.

Netflix and endlessly stress over things completely outside of my control?

I haven’t seen X-Men 01 through X-Men 96, so I’d probably just be lost.

Live long AND prosper? In THIS economy?!

You can tell I'm cool because of the dry, edgelordy rejoinders with which I respond to harmless tweets from an iconic puppet.

Fuck off, winter. You had your chance to winter when it was still winter.

Me: *has lived in the Midwest for the sizable majority of my life*

Also me: Why the fuck is snow in the forecast during the first week of spring?!

Developer: It’s a feature, not a bug.

Insect: Okay, wow.

It sometimes feels like my world ended last year and I'm currently living out an extended post-credits sequence.

New comic! Wherein Cord celebrates St. Patrick's Day.

Given how utterly consumed I am by grief and anger, the fact that I haven't crossed over into supervillainy must indicate a clear lack of ambition on my part.

If you have even the vaguest recollection of why you visited Wikipedia in the first place, does it even count as a rabbit hole?

"Beware the ids of March!"
- A psychoanalyst, probably

Anyone trying to get into an exclusive club tonight better have the IDs of March.

Took an allergy pill before going to sleep but have been sniffing and sneezing since waking up.

Well-ided, March.

New comic! Wherein Cord must beware.

I don't often beware ides, but when I do, they're of March.