Creepy, kooky, mysterious, AND spooky? In THIS economy?!

I don’t wanna say I’m a pushover, but my sneezes are easily the most aggressive thing about me.

If keeping a lowbrow comic strip populated by reprehensible characters on life support strikes you as a worthy use of your hard-earned money, please consider sending a donation my way.
https://ko-fi.com/thecard

New comic! Wherein Jenkins lets the holiday spirit flow.

The end of my misfortune would also mean the end of my social media presence, so it truly is in everyone’s best interest that things start improving for me.

I just muttered, “I hate my life” three times while looking in a mirror, and I’m hoping I didn’t accidentally summon Emo Candyman.

From exactly two years ago. Wherein Cord reacts to casting news.

Wherein Cord welcomes a new month.

*gestures to entire universe*

Not my scene, bro!

"More like 'Godzilla Minus FUN'!"

- Someone who didn't enjoy Godzilla Minus One, probably

The arrival of the holiday season has caused me to become sad, bitter, and disillusioned, so per movie law, I’ll inevitably wind up saving Christmas.

As an outside-the-box thinker, I’ll be having Friendsgiving with imaginary friends but tasking them with preparing real food.

I regret to inform you that I’ve reached “going to sleep without a TV on” levels of despair.

From last year. Wherein Cord preps for the best Thanksgiving ever.

Peanuts led me to believe that clinical depression would involve more football-based comedy.

LIFE GOAL: Post something that gets more likes than a celebrity saying, “Good morning.”

All shampoo is beard shampoo when you’re bald.

Me: *complains about having enormous media backlog*

Also me: *actively wants to consume every piece of media in existence*

A Five Nights at Freddy’s / Waffle House cross promotion known as “Five Fights at Freddy’s.”

Is this something?

"For real, though, if anyone here is Freddy Krueger, you are legally required to tell me."

- Me, lucid dreaming