I've always believed that something bad happening at the beginning of the day portends a full day of awfulness, so I'm trying my hardest to pretend I *enjoy* the pain from the paper cut I just gave myself.

I’m not so much a reply guy as a “type out a reply, read it over several dozen times, completely rewrite it, read it over several dozen more times, and then probably not send it” guy.

New comic! Wherein Cord and Sock debate the merits of self-medicating. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

My eyes being dilated caused me to see six likes for one of my posts as sixteen likes, so I basically have no complaints.

New comic! Wherein Cord weighs in on NGL threads. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

From exactly four years ago. Wherein Cord trips balls. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

Anyone who stumbles upon any of my social media profiles.

In honor of Garfield’s 45th anniversary.

D’oh! I thought that all of humanity was on the honor system to not make this request.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/93kw7p/someone-asked-an-autonomous-ai-to-destroy-humanity-this-is-what-happened

Me: Sure, traumatic and awful things have been happening to me on a continuous loop, but at least I have my hobbies!

Me attempting to enjoy any of my hobbies:

I genuinely feel like the world threw me away this year, but on the plus side, this loans credence to the theory that my entire existence is a stealth Oscar the Grouch origin story.

New comic! Wherein Cord plays to his strengths. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

My credit card company flagged a purchase I just made as potentially fraudulent, which is weird, since impulse-buying obscure video games at 4:30 in the morning is very much my brand.

Me trying to ignore the fact that my world is crumbling all around me.

I hate when a horoscope begins by instructing me to do two things that are well outside of my skill set.

New comic! Wherein Cord practices humility. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

Understatement.

No, but for real.

Just stumbled upon a 12-minute reaction video to an 18-second teaser trailer, and I don't think I need to be online any more today.

New comic! Wherein Cord thinks like a president. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy