As a kid, I always allowed bad movies to disappoint me twice: once in feature film form and again in video game form.

I still have roughly three years' worth of Snakes on a Plane jokes to get through before I start rolling out my Cocaine Bear material.

My latest comic! Wherein Cord and Jenkins welcome the arrival of March. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

I've decided that my big task for the day is
writing a passable joke about how writing a passable joke is my big task for the day.

“Catastrophizing?” I call it “being conscious.”

My latest comic! When I’m having an abysmal week, strips like this are inevitable. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

My latest comic! Wherein Sock contends with the perils of being published. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

From exactly 10 years ago. When I was a kid, my dad would get explosively angry at me for mumbling, but it's possible he was just trying to provide me with material for the unfunny comics I'd draw as an adult.

Today I drew a comic about the recent snowfall in Los Angeles, whereas exactly one year ago, I drew one about how utterly absurd the idea of snow in L.A. was.

(However, both comics featured punchlines that likened snow to cocaine.)

My latest comic! Wherein hilarity is (potentially) in the forecast! #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

Me continuing to make stupid jokes on social media despite being completely dead inside.

From exactly two years ago. Saying that I like one of my comics is a surefire way to guarantee that it bombs on social media, so I'll just say that this one sucks and I absolutely hate it. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

Me three seconds after any social media post.

My desire to hide from the world is at odds with my desire to join every possible social platform.

If nothing else, I hope the popularity of Cocaine Bear gets "Snakes on a Plane on Cocaine" out of development hell.

Guy: Dude, they're making a movie about you!

Bear from Washington State: For the last time, my name is SPOKANE Bear.

My latest comic! Wherein Jenkins has a busy day. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

The next Cocaine Bear movie should prominently feature a dog and be entitled “Cocainine.”

Sorry.

In my younger years, I aspired to fame and fortune.

Now I'd settle for living in a state with non-terrible winters.

My latest comic! Wherein Cord and Sock have fun with language. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy