All 3 cable news networks went to commercial at the same time. Conveniently after the Nielsen tick. Shenanigans!
The results of the petit #PithyPoll are in!
In a 3-1 result, America’s next President will give us just a little fracking, you know as a treat!
Up next, which Presidential candidate will lead us into the fuuuutuuuuure?
#SmershTV hashtagged to make filtering easier.
Hear me out... think about how much more exciting Election Day will be when we add like 25 more states. Steve Kornacki would never be able to finish a sentence!
#SmershTV quality you can expect.
In case you were wondering what clips you’ll see tonight on the Daily Show...
According to the captions on my other screen, the Fox #ElectionDay2020 coverage is shouting about how Republicans didn’t do anything “structural” between 2016 and 2018 but that Democrats are going to be adding states and supreme courts seats.
#SmershTV so you don’t have to.
Ffffffffffffffffffffffff the turtle wins again.
AP calling Kentucky for McConnell.
Don’t forget we haven’t heard from the panhandle of Florida. We here at #SmershTV are guessing the Florida-Georgia line is not going to break for Joe.
#SmershTV is excited to announce that the first #PithyPoll has closed!
In a landslide, the nice grandpa candidate swept with 4 votes!
Up, next. Which stance on fracking will win?
CNN is talking about how Trump offsets Biden’s city gains by running up the vote in the counties. Did the Biden campaign even have a non-city strategy?
Before we dive into tonight’s election coverage, #SmershTV CrazyCoin expert Jim Cramest wants to hear from you on hot stocks to buy!
Jim thinks reelection is going to move LOADS of Fred Perry! Don’t forget to stock up on the deep sleeper GlaxoSmithKline as Tums won’t stay in stock!
An eviction of He Who Shall Not Be Named means you should load up on Altria Group stock because people will be smoking all kinds of things out of their Juuls! Reminder, with the burbs cancelled dump your Panera!!!
#SmershTV is on the air with #ElectionDay2020 “coverage”!
Just like your employer’s health insurance company, you’re stuck with what you get and it’ll somehow end up being worse than no coverage!
With mere minutes left until the first results, let’s do a #PithyPoll here on #SmershTV!
Who do you think will win?
Did you know #ElectionDay2020 is the last day you can cast your vote for this year’s election?
5 votes for Joe Biden. All 5.
It seems as though Verizon’s 5G coverage has not yet reached Dixville Notch.
UUUUUUUGH CUOMO!?
Don’t let him talk about Dixville Notch! He’s the embodiment of a leafer.
A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production.
Too weird to live, and too rare to die.