RIP Arleen.

You're going to be missed in this world something awful.

#BTAS

https://youtu.be/Y_4woLger1E

Okay before I shovel a melatonin into my maw and go to sleep let's have a quick chat about quitting smoking.
An honest chat.
Shame from others doesn't work.
Statistics don't mean shit.
Commercials showing the outcome from smoking are nothing.
One day you get up and you realize that today is the exact fucking day and if you don't work on quitting THAT DAY you're going to keep failing to quit forever.
You get a few of those days, actually.
Seize one.
#FutureExSmoker

I have as of 1130pm EDT officially not had a cigarette for 7 days.

That's badass AF.

#FutureExSmoker

Just took younger son's devices away for bed and he said, "My tabs are gone." I said yes.
"I am really mad."
"Oh? Are you as mad as you are every time the WiFi on your phone fails because you have 60 tabs open?"
"Goodnight mommy I love you."
"MMMMHMMMM"

Hi, I am quitting smoking!
I'll be more active when I don't have the urge to destroy another human being.
Right now I'm vibing with Angelica Huston's Morticia!
It's all good!
#FutureExSmoker

One more thing for people who are looking to quit smoking -

Buy fiber before you do so you can drink water and the fiber you eat helps your intestines and you don't spend several days in misery.
I'm not talking about Triscuits.
But whatever works.

#FutureExSmoker
#BeansAreHelpful
#DrinkWater
#GetSomeExercise

I just popped in to see The Mugshot and laughed hysterically and 16 and I are cawwing hims a tuff guwy wook at how scawwy that face is bwess his heawt.

Jesus Mary and Joseph.
See y'all soon when I stop linking social media to going out on the porch to smoke.

What a dipshit.

#TFG
#Trump

Interrupting my social media break while dealing with the worst part of quitting smoking to pop in and let you all know that 16 and I walked down the hill of our dirt road and back and 16 slid on a large rock and scraped his knee.
I said, Oh thank goodness.
16- Why?
Me- You haven't had enough skinned knees in your life because you fell in kindergarten at school and lost all adventure.
16- I oddly feel really alive now.
Me- Exactly.
#Parenting
#FutureExSmoker
#Lungs!

See you all soon!

Remember when you were little and you got a bath and into your pajamas and your parents read you a story and you snuck out of your room to watch what they were watching on TV but they knew you were there and in your heart you knew they knew and they gave you like to the first commercial break before busting you?
Go to sleep my friends.
We're busted.
#Sleep
#GenX

Hi how about when I explain how I'm trying to quit smoking you don't comment on how that failed for you?
Can we maybe work on this on the internet?

I said "You will step me down from this now."
It was awful.
Fever. Chills.
Shaking.
I had an infant and a toddler and these people were like eh Vicodin.
I beat that shit in 3 weeks.
I can beat smoking in a month.

True story.
I had a newborn and ended up in a chair one day and could barely take care of my babies due to pain.
I went to a "Pain Specialist."
She put me on Vicodin.
For a YEAR.
I DEMANDED to see a surgeon.
He said, "When that MRI was taken your disc was already gone."
I said, What.
What.
Called the doctor.
#Opiods

Over 48 hours without the habitual dealies of smoking but with nicotine gum and frankly I am ready to kick a human being into the sun.
I'm fucking pissed off the way I was when that doctor got me addicted to Vicodin in 2009.
I'm angry.
I'm also stubborn.
Like in 2010.
#FutureExSmoker
#Addict

Final memory, probably, in my life?
Being terrified to mount a horse, getting settled, seeing my toddler run through the pasture, and turning around to my mom who said, "He was really mad and I couldn't handle the sound."
NO SHIT, AND TOO BAD.

To this DAY I am upset by the fact that my mom wanted me to hide the fact that she ignored my instructions about my younger son and nearly got him killed.
To this day I adore the #horses that lifted their heads as he ran towards the river and basically said, "Okay," without hurting him. Because this kid dodged like 30 horses.
What a weirdass day.

I took now 16 to a classmates birthday party in 1st grade and I had to take now 14 along, in his stroller, and a Dad said to now 14, "Shouldn't you be walking by now?"
And I snapped my fingers to get the Dad's attention and said, "Do you want to chase him?"
He stared at me and then walked away.

This kid is FAST.
And he liked the stroller because usually people left him alone.
#AutisticHousehold
#AutisticFamily

My son is fast and will unintentionally end up dead.
I don't know what to say to get people to listen to me.

My son nearly made it to the highway at my mother's funeral.
I ran after him in heels and my cousin ran him down in her Jeep
I snagged him as she got to him in her Jeep and I threw him into her Jeep and she said, "Jesus Mary and Joseph."
"Yeah no shit!"

3 adult humans and 2 Australian shepherds brought down my son before he could drown.
Because my mother didn't listen.
I got on a horse one more time.
It's terrifying.
They're huge!
But I did it.
My mom said - never tell anyone else about this.
I just stared at her.
I never told anyone until after she died
PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO PARENTS.
#horses

I got on my horse after establishing a relationship with her, and then I saw my 3yo running through the pastures full of horses.
I flipped to look at my mom.
"He was Loud!"
My glare singed the planet.
Meanwhile the people AND DOGS who worked on the ranch went after my 3yo as I jumped off the horse.
Because there were lakes.
#horses

I signed up for lessons for myself.
Two lessons.
Climbing onto a 3000 pound animal was terrifying. I'm not okay with it.
My mom came along, and I told her that no matter what my younger son did she could not release him from his stroller.
He was 3 and very fast.
My mom said okay.
I got on a horse, terrified.
#horses