4 pretty good tweets of yore:
@SkinnerSteven
The living can't communicate with the dead, that's just séance fiction
@tigersgoroooar
gonorrhea would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine.
@moose_chocolate
I don't understand why they called it "WebMD"when they could have called it Sickipedia".
@mrjohndarby
My lead guitar is so heavy.