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4 pretty good tweets of yore:
@KalvinMacleod
Parenting is like being a juggler except all the balls are screaming.
@bornmiserable
RICK JAMES: When I get there, she's got incense, wine, and candles. It's such a freaky scene.
ME: You just described a Pottery Barn.
@SoulYodeler
While my Palm Pilot reboots, I like to spend time contemplating all the poor decisions I've made.
@WilliamAder
Her: I contoured my eyebrows. What do you think?
Me: Live long and prosper.