I definitely missed something in the last couple dats.6π¬
@Agatha @NorthernInvader it's been viral for a while. I was warned not to comment at all on this subject because alot of fem folks are getting serious threats in their inbox when they do but screw it.
I made a poll with the question.
I just finished reading up. I'm not on SM sites that have "viral content" anymore, thankfully.
My gut reaction was "bear". On closer self examination of my reasons, it was still "bear".
Men who get mad over this are the ones I'd pick the bear over.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader what I find interesting about this is not that women are choosing the bear. That part is obvious. But that there are apparently a ton of very angry very dangerous dudes out who are very big mad about it. So they are being very publicly awful in ways that used to be much more hidden before. There is something about this question that just baits the trolls like crazy, and other dudes who also chose the bear are learning why alot of women are choosing the bear.
I'm in my 50s. Even as a teen the mere hint of rejection of a strange man would get me called a bitch and lectured (once by a guy pushing 40 when I was 16).
I'm not remotely surprised, unfortunately.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader I have a million thoughts on this debate. I didn't even know it was happening. My hubs asked me outta nowhere the question, and ofc it took me less then 2seconds. Bear. Always bear. But the reasons why aren't personal, they are instinctive. And I live in bear County and I love bears. I'm not afraid of bears I'm also not "afraid" of men. I love men too. But good men Do not know or understand the psychology or actions of bad men. That's why this question is so important.
My hus is one of the good ones, but, yeah, he didn't know. Didn't understand. He's learned over the years we've been together. Hell, he witnessed a drunk grab my tits at a party (I was sober & put on the spot to humor this asshole bc "he just got back from Afghanistan", like that's some fucking excuse, but I didn't know if he was armed). My hus' jaw dropped & he froze. Totally fucking froze. All those people did NOTHING. I was about 40.
We had a loooong talk after that.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader I'm so sorry. I do what I can (hugs)
What made it click for my hubby, Was I challenged him to play an online mmo with a female character with a female name. Don't talk. Don't change anything about your playstyle, We don't argue anymore about women's experiences. Alot of guys don't understand, don't know what to do when they see it because the behavior of these bad men are just as shocking to them. It's horrible.
Good call! I don't know that my husband needs that at this point, but I'm going to suggest it to him anyway. I wanna see his reaction.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader make sure that he just makes a female char like he wants it to look too. Don't try to make it anything particular. Just female character, female sounding name. Have fun with it. And definitely let me know what happens if you do.
I feel bad setting them up for it, but guys if you really don't know and you really want to know. Try it. Might not be a bad thing right? Idk. Maybe it depends on the game? Idk? Go find out. I've heard it's a problem everywhere.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader side note. Just talking to the dudes now.
Yo bros. I know the ladies can be reactionary and it's hard to see past all the rage right. But here's the thing. These men are out there praying on women, children, mothers, sisters, wives. They wait for them to be alone without other men to do this. Why? Because they are scared of you. Do not let these assholes and predators make women and girls afraid of men. Make these men afraid of you.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader on a personal note, I'm sorry you had that experience, and moreover I'm sorry there wasn't someone who protected you when you had that experience. My harassment in public started at age 6. Probably younger but how would a child know. That's not assault, just the threats of it. Age 6. Obviously it just got worse as I got older and I'm not bitter. I'm not afraid. But it's ok if you are. Any human. It's ok to be afraid. Even the bear is afraid. We don't have to be alone.
It's not fear. It's evaluation of risk.
My first, whatever you want to call it, I was in 1st grade, walking to school. I'm about to cross the street. Guy pulls up and stares at me. I'm on a hill and on the curb. I can see into his car. He's got his π in his hand and he's just *staring*. I got the fuck out of there.
And I never told an adult. Not because I felt any shame or embarrassment, but because I'd already had "boys will be boys" drilled into my head.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader I never told anyone when I was young either. When I did tell my mother about my actual assault as a teen by my "bf" at the time, she told me I needed to marry him. I wasn't pregnant and it wasn't that kind of assault, but it was so normalized that I knew I had no support. (I barely even knew this guy he just told everyone he was my boyfriend and none of them helped me stop him. So when I finally got rid of him, I went riot girl. Never looked back.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader I Want to state for the record. That right there. That is really fucked up. And anyone blaming anything else besides this very obviously fucked up and dangerous dude is fucked up an dangerous too. That's not a thing anyone should be making any excuses for.
As for the harassment, I don't want a *protector*. I want men to stop being assholes, and I want them to call each other out and keep each other in line, because I'm *tired* of their behavior somehow being my responsibility.
@Agatha @NorthernInvader thats a fair take. You got every right to demand that. My blood boils when I hear about behavior like that especially from military dudes. And no. That's not a fucking excuse. If anything that's worse.
@NorthernInvader π»