Also: I cannot fully describe the rest and joy I feel when I run into trans folk in my building. Most paisas are *very* much live & let live - which doesn't mean that trans folk don't endure prejudice & abuse, but does mean that I'm not living in an everyday culture of politically amplified anti-trans rhetoric like... ah... some batshit states of hate I could name. π My home always feels so much safer after I've had a nice chat with some of many my beautiful neighbours across the rainbow. β€οΈπ
Oh typos. Keeping me humble. π
Hope everyone has a decent day & is super gentle with themselves.
There is so much hurt in our world--& we can't fix or even try to address it all.
So build up your reserves on the days when there's no clear path to change.
& tread lightly with others.
Porque nadie sabe lo que estΓ‘ pasadando en la vida de otra persona.
No one truly knows what anyone else is going through.
But we will surely wound each other further, if we're not careful with our own wounds.
I've learned it is risky trying to read your posts when fresh. I know you are scanning for typos and as likely as not will re-draft, yanking it from my screen :)
I find myself moving slower in life in many ways as I age, not that I am tired or weak, quite the opposite. I know the damage I can do.
I move now like I am navigating around a sleeping black dog in a dark room.
On the phone, I'm fighting Spanish autocorrect whenever I type in English, so Spanish autocorrect is learning some... odd English exceptions over time.
At my computer my posts are always cleaner from the get-go, but thank you for your patience all the same!
And I appreciate that "slowness". I'm striving for the same. For me, it begins with noticing that much of what I take for righteous response might also be trauma-informed. Doesn't negate my outrage! But it does affect its utility.
I just smile and wait. I know exactly what you are doing and why. Typos bug me too, but I am trying to let go of that. You are a pro writer though, so you want it clean :)
You are always fast moving compared to me, which is who you are, and what you are doing right now, but you are also very aware and careful.
And yes there are also times when the correct response to a situation is *explosive*
Well, you set an excellent example in both presence and care from where I'm sitting, Ceorl. I look forward to one day having mastered even your current level of "moving slow" where it counts.
(And still exploding where it matters, too.)
Aw shucks! Thanks for saying, but I am still learning and working on it. CoSo is a great laboratory for refining interpersonal skills.
Still, it has not been long since I accidentally *lit up* a perfectly nice person here in a very negative way due to a careless word.
It happens, but an ongoing challenge :)
I was just chatting with a nephew about similar: He's 16 and super-keen to learn the One Right Way to speak and write.
So, we had the semiotics chat, about how language doesn't contain fixed meanings, and how we'll *always* need to pay attention to how others are using specific words, then vary our speech according to contextual needs.
He was a bit rattled that his English Prof Aunt says there's no One True Way to communicate, but better to be "shook" now by relativism than later on!
I π― this!
My aim when writing to be understood.
(unless being playfully poetic)
That means learning all I can about dialects and cultures and mindsets and motivations so that I can get through in the way I want to.
Sometimes it works, brilliantly.
@NiveusLepus @MLClark
Reminds me of when I used to give presentations, and mentor others on them.
I would suggest including one trivial error fairly early on, an error that works only very slightly against your case, without negating it.
Then if you are lucky, the pickiest most detail oriented critic will find that, and then sit back arms crossed satisfied with themselves the rest of the meeting.
Also makes novice presenters feel good to manipulate their audience like that