I cannot post this anywhere that people know who I am. But I need to vent.

I am a public defender. It’s underpaid work, but I have always believed in it. My job is to defend the poor who are charged with crimes and who don’t have the money to hire lawyers.

But being an older public defender during a pandemic that kills and disables the elderly disproportionately ihas put me in a quandary. How do I both do my job well and still protect myself and my older, disabled husband?

I am supposed to do a jury trial next week. If it goes, they have plexiglass up in the courtroom to protect others. But me? I will have a mask, but zero social distancing for at least two days.

They are exempting older people from jury service... people only a couple years older than me.

One of my opponents is a Viking wannabe — has a Mohawk style white boy haircut. He refuses to wear a mask, telling me that re-breathing air is “gross” but telling the judge that his asthma prevents it.

So he will be a plague rat often within 6 feet of me.

My client hasn’t been social distancing or masked while in a jail that doesn’t test people. They just isolate them if they have fever.

And from everything I read in reputable sources, wearing a mask only protects others, and minimally protects me. I am feeling extremely anxious and vulnerable.

If I could afford to retire, I would turn in the papers Monday. But I cannot afford it.

😱