I watched some TV show on people with weird compulsive kinds of neuroses and there was this big lady who compulsively ate foam mattresses. As they interviewed her, she’d tear off a chunk of her bed and eat it. There were doctors and so forth trying to convince her to stop, explaining the harm she was causing.

They never once asked the important question: by the time it comes out, does it still relentlessly float?

#unflushable