@MarvelousMadi13 So... I'll say from my experience, there's a point where it does become necessary (for safety, one's own dysphoria, etc.) to talk with the kids.
It certainly felt selfish to me to ask my Smol if she could call me something else, but I also got her involved with it; we looked up the word for "mom" in different languages, talked about how language can make us feel, and so on.
Approached the right way, I bet they'll be happy to help in your transition this way :)
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@MarvelousMadi13 Sometimes it helps to give them the list and let them pick. There's a lot of options :)
Also, if your ex is pushing them away from recognizing your transition -- and I certainly hope that's not the case -- that can be very challenging. I'm not really sure how to address that, if that's what's happening 💔 :(