The downside of trying to be "on" from the moment I lost income is that losing a day of personal work via net outage has been really bad for wellbeing: too much time to think, when I've set up my whole coping strategy post job loss around "doing".

But if I go out to walk, people want me to talk things out, and there's nothing to talk out. I don't want or need to explain how fragile my life is. I just need to rebuild a routine on which I can grow and try again.

Silly internet.
Sillier brain.