I didn't sleep so well last night.
I realized that this year I've lost all clear sense of a dream to pursue. So much has gone wrong these last few years.
There's a quiet in my heart where a lot of goals once sat.
Mind you, it's a lot less painful then when I had to leave academia.
But it's a dangerous thing to live without direction or hope.
Nevertheless, this is the land I'm walking in for now. (The world is, too!) The aim is to tread carefully, and see what arises in the new terrain.
@MLClark I so relate (left academic exec admin after 13 years back in July). I think that quiet in your heart is a good thing. I think of it as incubating, being pregnant with your self-to-emerge. Your values are your core steering mechanism. They will give you direction eventually. This might be clearer to me as I’m in crone stage now after entering full menopause back in the winter. If you’re in perimenopause now, it’s a rougher road but sisters like me have come through it. I’m here for you❤️
Oh, I cannot fully express how happy it makes me to see people talk opening about perimenopause. It's shocking how few people understand it, eh? I'm not there yet, but hormonal fluctuations are such an important part of life with our physical equipment. Always important to consider.
Thank you for your courage, quiet, and strength in transformation. And congrats on entering a new phase in this wild road of life! 🤗 I hope you have all the resources you need to move through it well.
Hot damn, it sounds like you have been ROCKING self-knowledge through all of this. Thank you so much for your insight and your perseverance! 💪 ❤️
@MLClark ❤️ …and mental equipment. In no particular order-for me between 48-52-had insomnia bouts, huge rushes of anger (testosterone spikes via estrogen plummets), incessant “whaddabout” anxiety loops sometimes (not always) coupled with deep chills and/or full-out sweats, forgetfulness, need to check that I’d done something I’d already done repeatedly. It wasn’t PTSD, OCD, early onset dementia, thyroid issues, anger management problems, depression -nope. It was perimenopause- our 2nd puberty!