It's a common problem in life, that we can only rise in ways commensurate with the growth (or lack thereof) of those around us.
To try to build better for oneself going forward, one is always in negotiation with the past, & with how the past lives in us & shapes our networks.
To those navigating their own habituated responses to past trauma's impact on present relationships and future-planning:
Thank you for the courage of your perseverance.
It is enough that we are trying to break through.