A writer interviewed on NPR had just written (published) a book about her mother’s life after her mother died. The suggestion was that her mother wouldn’t have appreciated this while alive. (Not because she was abusive, but because she was private.)
It makes me wonder: should we honor who someone was when they lived, or safely assume that, in their new realm, if there is one, they wouldn’t mind being … exposed?
Thoughts?
@TheresaVermont Exactly. I think of honoring them as honoring their desire for privacy even after they're gone. I don't think she was writing about her relationship with her mother, but her mother's life. And she'll profit from it. It makes me uncomfortable. But, then, I don't know their relationship.
@Lena_Tasi I'd love to write about my mother's life; it is fundamentally a gothic novel. But profiting from it feels very uncomfortable.
I think it can be a very healing after a loss. However, asking oneself what the person would've wanted is extremely important. There's always the option of writing a story where only the writer and loved ones would know who it's about.
@JoyfullyDazed This is true.
@Lena_Tasi I've thought about this a lot, as I think there's a story in my own family. Is it really honoring someone? Or is is exposing someone? Who is gratified by the exposure?