I want affection so badly. A backrub would be heavenly. If I were to ask my local friends they would look at my sideways. I want a partner but it's not worth it, the way people treat each other these days. And before you ask, no I am NOT PAYING SOMEONE TO CUDDLE ME. Yes those services exist. If I had the money to pay someone for that I would get a professional massage. I can barely get a hug from my friends. Touch is my love language and my lovetank is empty.
@singlemaltgirl I live in a building for disabled folx and a lot are older. I come and visit, we help each other. None seem to want a hug, I've offered. :(
@JeniRizio oh damn. that's too bad. i'm so sorry. i wish i had some other suggestions. i'm surprised that some of your friends wouldn't be up for a hug. i know not everyone likes touch but i have a couple of friends who would happily give me a hug.
i know my donors give me hugs (whether i want them or not). are there people you meet that you can become familiar enough that they might greet you with hugs?
@singlemaltgirl Oh hell, I've tried. And tried. I am 46, single, and living in an area where people go out of their way to avoid people. And before anyone suggests Meetup -- there's nothing here.
@JeniRizio damn. i'm afraid i can't think of anything. i wouldn't have suggested meet up only b/c i tend to find that's great to get together for hobbies but not really close relationships.
@singlemaltgirl I think I just need some empathy and someone to send me some good vibes or intentions. Spells prayers, meditations, I'll take anything. I already do a lot of that for myself and others. I'll keep on doing that only because I feel better afterward.
@JeniRizio that makes sense. people need touch. it can be hard to go w/o. i will send good thoughts to you ππΎ π
@singlemaltgirl thank you, I need it
@singlemaltgirl I am in Compeer, a group to help people meet new people. Guess what? Nobody goes to the events. I went to a few, even made suggestions to the social worker running the groups. It was just her and I. And I joined a local LGBT+ social group. Yes a "social" group online. Nobody wanted to meet up. I stopped sticking my neck out in all these places. Time for someone else to do it. I'm done.
@JeniRizio makes total sense.
@singlemaltgirl my friends are very standoffish. I'll offer a hug they'll take it, but it feels forced or unwanted. I really want a back rub or a shoulder rub, even a quick squeeze or something.
@JeniRizio that makes sense to not want to hug peeps that aren't really genuinely into it.
@JeniRizio being touch starved can happen to anyone. i'm sorry you can't afford to pay for a professional massage once in awhile. those are lovely.
may i suggest volunteering at an old folks' home? they are often just as touch starved and would love a hug or someone to hold their hand and talk with them for awhile.