@Helical_Code okay...its just that marriage is a sacred covenant and must be honord well. Unless she just a gf then she should use her own name. Im edicated but obligated to use my husband's family name as the wife.
That lady (your brother in-law's wife) should have left the name behind when they devorced.
@Jellifish
My brother-in-law's wife has given up the family name, but it took a little while.
From my perspective, it's not possible to read level of a woman's commitment to a marriage by comparing maiden and married names.
From your perspective, I guess you would say that I've been my husband's girlfriend for a solid 30 years! He thinks of me as his wife, though.