“WE’RE BAAAAACK.”

(Their attorneys want to assure everyone who can still tell the difference between satire and real life that they’re just performance artists.)

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I have decided to give up my lifelong shiftless and idle pursuit of hotties, hotter peppers, and hottest meandering guitar solos to be a corporate shill for this man.

Feel the synergy!

theonion.com/heres-why-i-decid

@InUnfunky

😀 😎 😀 😎 😀 😎 😀 😎 😀 😎 😀 😎 😀 😎 😀 😎 😀 😎

Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal.

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