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I used to be a Youtuber. For 3 or so years I made my living by making videos, and outsourcing my editing skills to bigger youtube channels.
In that capacity, I suppose I was successful. But I never reached the level of success I hoped I would, and for that I feel like a failure.
Now I revisit those memories and feelings as I venture into a podcasting project with my wife, and I'm constantly left with a nagging feeling like I will fail because I dont have what it takes, and never did.
I would like to clarify that I'm not looking for pity, or reassurance. I'm just being honest about my feelings, sense of inadequacy, imposter syndrome that follows me in every creative venture I pursue. Whether its in my writing, my video editing, interacting with an audience, or even if its just dick jokes... Expression is so important to me and my sense of worth, but my failures follow me, and never cease to remind me that I'm not cut out for this, I dont deserve it, and I should give up.