[record scratch] Yeah, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here, and frankly so am I because I did nothing wrong, the payoff was perfect, people are saying it's the best hush money deal they've ever seen, but I can tell you, I got here better than anybody ever has, everybody's saying it

@ProjectShadow Big man, strong man, tears in his eyes, he says to his lawyers, he says "please let me testify, it will be the greatest testify in the history of testifying, everybody will love it"

"Absolutely, I would testify [...] I'm testifying. I tell the truth, I mean, all I can do is tell the truth." - like, six weeks ago

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-absolutely-testify-new-york-criminal-trial-rcna147663

I upgrade all my guitars-- tuners, pickups, knobs, you name it, I've made a personal decision about it. And even though everybody on the internet has an opinion about how a guitar should look or sound, nobody tells me what I can or can't do with them. I mean, really, nobody cares because they aren't their guitars.

Still, I'm glad we had this discussion about abortion rights.

@ArcturusSaDiablo Thanks! My wife (the voice of our droid) and I play SWTOR every weekend. Love checking out all the different character stories.

Hey fellow nerds: I make in-universe #StarWars music. Like, if you went into a real cantina, what would you hear? That's the diegetic dianoga grooves we're trying to lay down.

We have six songs posted, all free to download. You can throw us some credits if you feel kind, but mostly, we wanna find fellow SW fans who appreciate what we're doing.

http://thekyberpunks.bandcamp.com

#cosomusic

@amarand if your goal was to absolutely miss this joke you have succeeded beyond all measure, but also I can't tell you how depressing it is that you immediately considered their financial worth to be the deciding factor, not any creative potential

Then I saw your "AI art" and it all kinda made sense

so looooooooong

How great will it be when OJ Simpson reaches Hell and finds Norm McDonald's in charge

The Beatles lost two guitarists, but still have a drummer and a bassist.

The Rolling Stones lost a drummer and a bassist, but still have two guitarists.

I don't need to say more, you're right there with me.

@Dane I have never regretted investing in quality tech that I rely on every day, even/especially when it's unsexy and invisible.

.

"They just ran a poll in Germany, have you seen this? I won the poll, they're calling me the greatest. And we love Germany too, don't we folks -- great country, strong leaders, very famous, tiny moustache...made history that we still talk about today, and they love me there"

Election ignorance is not election interference
https://www.nevadacurrent.com/2024/01/10/counties-remind-nevadans-trump-didnt-file-for-presidential-primary-so-he-wont-be-on-ballot/

ACE Hardware employees wear red hats with white embroidery on them too, so this is good to know he'll have opportunities that feel comfortable

Imagine being hired to work at a McDonald's and then half the employees spending three weeks having meetings about who is going to be the shift manager. The ice cream machine was already broken, but now the grill's cold & the customers are being turned away. Private and secret meetings in the freezer about who will manage the shift have become the only order of "business."

Like, we're going to fire them all for this, right?

Oh. Well, with all the latest news, I guess I won't vote for Hunter Biden.

I hear that DA comin', she's rolling 'round the bend
'Cause Fani wants to lock me up and put me in the pen
I'm stuck in Fulton prison, and time keeps draggin' on
Indictments keep a-rollin' and my alibis are gone

- Donny No-Cash, "Fulton Prison Blues"

@Izaya 😂

I know the GOP debate is tonight and I'll keep an open mind, but I'm expecting a strong showing from the Dunning/Kruger ticket

*RECORD SCRATCH*

"So, yeah that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here, and you know, it's a great story -- everybody's saying it, they say it's the best story they've ever heard, they come to me, tears in their eyes, 'Mr. Trump, please tell that amazing story one more time...'"