I was just thinking about the habits I have and have not kept in my life, and noticed all the things I didn’t like or didn’t care about but that I had to do, stopped being done as soon as I didn’t have to.
Make my bed? Why? It doesn’t bother me.
Clean my room? It’s just a little messy, it doesn’t bother me.
Exercise? I hate it. No.

It just surprises me sometimes how people can retain a habit even when they don’t want or have to (I’m not talking about addiction to drugs, that’s different).

Sometimes I recognize something is funny to someone, but not to me. Like I can see why it might be found funny but I don’t laugh. Other times I can tell it’s almost funny but fails. Am I just too cynical about comedy or am I noticing something others don’t?

I think if I were ever to go to Japan, I would want to go when they have Sumo (odd numbered months), it’s the only sport that interests me, and I think that might surprise some Japanese people

So, I know “NYE” stands for “New Years Eve,” but every time I see it, my mind wants to start saying “New York…” and then stop because E? Then I remember the time of year it is and have to correct my reading.

I think it’s because the rest of the year I’ll see NYC or NY in written form, so my mind has made a shortcut.

Sometimes I get really into a show or game, until I have a thought of “I need to take a break from this, I’ll come back to it later.” And then 3 years pass. But when I think about watching/playing it again I think “I only recently decided to take a break, it’s too soon.” And then I get back into it 2 years later.

Sometimes when I get back into it I don’t feel engaged so I figure it was too soon. Does anyone else feel that?

Sonder Ponder: Some people mistake toughness for strength.

Fondly remembering the time in 6th grade when I climbed to the top of the bleachers during lunch and proclaimed “I am an alien!”

If I remember right, one of the reasons my dad didn’t want me to be diagnosed with ADHD, is he didn’t want me to be medicated. Another reason is I was friends with someone diagnosed with ADHD, and my dad said I didn’t act like they did so I couldn’t have it.

I doubt anyone brought up the possibility of Autism either, since I didn’t “seem” autistic, and now I’m almost certain that I have both 🥲

Of course I can’t afford a diagnosis right now, so I can only say I’m neurodivergent.

“Him” and “he” being my dad

Was just thinking over my past, remembering a time in middle school when the teachers expressed concern with my schoolwork, and the school counselor suggested I might have ADHD. But my dad was adamant in refusing to consider it, so the counselor suggested a hearing test.

The audiologist confirmed that I have CAPD, which did help with some aspects of my life. But after that, if I ever did anything that didn’t make sense to him, he just blamed the CAPD.

On this, the longest night of the year, I simply wish you all a Joyous Yule

I’m having conflicted feelings about my hair.

On the one hand, I like having it long because it looks good, and it helps affirm my gender identity.

On the other hand, I nearly had a crying breakdown because it kept falling into my face!

I like having short hair as well (easier to maintain and style), but with my features it just makes me look VERY masculine.

I don’t consider hair length to be inherently gendered, but I know a lot of people do.

Anyone else have a musical track running through their head constantly or is that just me?

Anyone else treat their brain like it’s a separate entity? Like, when I remember to do something, I’ll think “Thanks for reminding me,” or when a section of a song is repeating I’ll think “Can we listen to something else?” Or when an intrusive thought pops up and I think “Ew. No. Stop that.”

Some people have not experienced the visceral joy of writing in cursive with a nice pen and it shows

Pocket Philosophy:
A burden shared is a burden halved, not doubled.

I recall a bumper sticker that was up on the wall of my high school chemistry classroom, and it has stuck with me 15+ years:

“Don’t believe everything you think.”

Anyone else ever experience this?
I have tasks, I planned to do these tasks, I want and need to do them, but some part of my brain just says “no” and it’s like my brain is fighting itself. Frustration and despair, fear and disgust, yet I still can’t seem to make myself do the tasks.
Is this executive dysfunction?

Sonder Ponder: There are people alive today who don’t question their reactions/thoughts/feelings as they occur, trying to understand why they think as they do.

Pocket philosophy:
It is better to be proven wrong, than to be believed without question.