@researchbuzz How rude!
(🤞 the gif works)

@etakeh that is more accurate, but lacks the requisite punchy rhythm.

What do you call it when a Mom tells a Dad Joke?

A faux-Pa.

You know what you did.

A woman came up to me, complimented me on my shirt, and told me that we're best friends now. I hope she's nice.

It's the weekend, get comfy.

"Hey, you've got some great looking legs."

Thanks, they're hereditary.
They run in my jeans.

Charlie Hebdo: America
(it's hidden for a good reason)
#Politics #Blood

@rokkinbobokkin I can see the lure on both sides, but are we talking about undersexed, bookish cat ladies, or men who really appreciate a handful of marble?

@rokkinbobokkin 😂

When you're a talented sculptor, but all of the female models are over-educated, under-loved cat ladies. #politicalhumor

Twinkle Twinkle, little star, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, up above the world so high, W, X, Y and Z

Twinkle Twinkle, little star, next time won't you sing with me?

He's so sweet my heart hurts 🤗

This is the third tiny mushroom to grow in my grapefruit pot. I'd snurch him up and eat him if I wasn't 90 percent sure that I'd die a slow and painful death.

This made me laugh a little louder than was necessary.

Isn't he Finn-tastic? 😍 😘

Remember that part of Freakonomics where they talk about the crime wave that never happened?

The introduction of birth control largely prevented an influx of poorly educated, underparented, and dispossessed teens.

I've been thinking about that this week.

@_Hunter Will do.

@_Hunter It's sitting there, waiting. I'll probably finish the Agatha Christie I'm on in the next day or two. *deep breath*

I've only heard good things, but I expect it'll hurt.