TODAY: "Dow, S&P 500 score record closes as U.S. stocks extend Fed rate-cut rally."

TRUMP: "The markets are doing great because they are anticipating my return to the Oval Office."

Everyone else: "Have you considered that *maybe* it's to do with you NOT being IN office and they are anticipating you NEVER holding any office ever again, because you'll be in prison?"

https://www.marketwatch.com/livecoverage/stock-market-today-dow-futures-level-off-after-fed-rate-cut-rally/card/stocks-are-poised-for-first-september-gain-in-5-years-qGmgmBPT5krDH8h1HUSW