Phones need an automatic "report this call to the ftc" button in their app.

Also, it'd be great if all new numbers were automatically added to the do not call registry and you had to opt in.

☕

You know you're at an 80s pop star concert when there's a bunch of walkers and scooters in the entry line.

☕

☕☕☕☕☕☕💤☕☕

Sometimes it's ok to just stop talking mid ...

The hardest phases to say in the English language.

I'm sorry.

I was wrong.

No, I've had enough bacon already.

Halloween solar storm to bring Aurora!

#fake

#workToot

One of the worst minor things you can do to somebody:

If you see them starting to sneeze. Mention it.
Suddenly they cannot sneeze, but keep that feeling of needing to.

That last deploy or 3 minutes in the ring with Mike Tyson?

Same pain level. With Tyson, it would have been over hours ago.

Llama Llama loves her mama, red pajama, and Oxford comma.

Good morning CoSo

It's that time of year when acorns start falling and if they hit the gutter just right sound like a pipe exploding.

In other news, been awake since 4 am and there's no leaks in the house.

Good morning

Shower thought: The original members of the Justice League: Green Lantern, the Flash, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter.
So, we have 4 immigrants, a US citizen powered by alien technology, an illegal militarized vigilante and some dude that runs really fast.
Representing Justice in America

@Alfred - using only emoji, please describe the plot of the movie John Wick.

Ok let's try this:

Food down the wrong pipe: bad

That food is a jalapeno: extremely bad

That jalapeno is the hottest of the season: I'm dead. Or at least wish I was.

Good morning CoSo.

Remember. Sometimes the are people who excel at only one thing. Quite often that is infuriating you. Resist the urge to play with the trolls. They're soft and squishy and the only thing that gives them any power is interaction (positive or negative).

I'm not sure what a "dillo" is, but my kids want a case of them.

#dadJoke