I hurt myself today because sometimes being disabled is embarrassing.
The Epcot restaurant I was having my Yay Fun! birthday lunch at (San Angel Inn in Mexico) has steps down to the tables, or a long ramp that runs across two sides, & past a ride queue. People stare, because it's different & interesting. Human nature, not faulting them for it.
I'm a proud #disabled woman, but sometimes I get tired of the attention. Today was one of those days.
(Continued)
(2)
So, like an idiot, I decided to use the stairs like everyone else -- even though that meant hauling my 30+ lb steel-frame rollator (wheeled walker) down five steps. I hurt my back, and drained my energy tank. We had to cut the day short by hours.
I'm 49 now. Why am I still so stupidly self-conscious? Nobody was judging me. Nobody would say anything. I just get tired of the constant disability spotlight.
(Continued)
(3)
A woman at Disney Springs came up to me once, & shocked me by telling me how cute my necklace was. Nobody does that. They tell me I'm brave, or ask if I need help, but they don't mention my cute shoes, or ask me directions, or flirt.
I'm like an honorary person, or a mascot. I want to be part of Everybody, if that makes sense. I don't know if any of this makes sense. IDK my point in posting this. Just needed to write it out, i think.
@OneLillieSpark I'm sorry the day did this to you. I don't think the self-consciousness is a weakness on your part, though. You know there's a lot more that being disabled in our society makes you carry than what the people who tell you you're brave think. Sometimes... it's just a lot. This isn't your fault.
@weirdfizz
♥️