@tyghebright So is queer what you prefer as well? I've been coming out to some close friends as non-binary but as someone closeted for decades it's hard.
Depends on context. Queer is good for many circumstances. If I'm specifically talking about my gender, then I will usually say I'm a trans man.
Often I say gay trans man. But then, that's already getting a little outside the usual definitions of things and is confusing to many folks.
Most accurate is trans masc genderqueer androsexual, but who the fuck understands all that, so Queer is good.
@tyghebright Thank you, it does seem like the perfect word. I really don't think it's anyone's business who I'm attracted to, just want everyone to stop calling me m'am.... lol
@tyghebright I prefer queer as well. It avoids yet another quip about cookware, in my case.
@PurpleDragon proud of you for coming out! π€ Remember to be gentle with yourself.
@evistre Thank you so much π Still getting the gumption to talk to sis, only one in the fam that won't disown me
@XSGeek @PurpleDragon @evistre
I am careful to use it as a general term or for myself, but not to apply it specifically to any individual unless I know how they feel about it. Because there *are* a fair number who find it hurtful.
@tyghebright @XSGeek @PurpleDragon
I try to do the same, though I admit I'm not always successful. When I was coming of age, we were eyeballs deep in the reclamation of "queer" so a lot of the folks around me used it proudly (if at all). "Queer community" was the accepted catch all shorthand.
Always good to be reminded that everyone didn't come of age at the same time I did, and so might not be as comfortable with the term, thank you π
@evistre @tyghebright @XSGeek
I always try not to assume anything until I know a person. I have been asking about pronouns when I've known someone a while.
@XSGeek I'm so sorry for all those years, I remember the hate and never understood it. Hugs to you both π€
@PurpleDragon @evistre @tyghebright
This hurts my heart. When my SIL came out, there was zero question that her brother (my husband) and I would fully support her. Other family feel otherwise, so we don't associate with them.
It took nearly no time to adopt her pronoun, her correct name, and get on with it. Seeing her grow into a happy and at peace woman has been a joy to witness. I'm sorry you have family that won't get to appreciate that. π
I can only offer a virtual mom/sister hug. π«
@Agatha Oh thank you π«
I made this silly movie and sent it to her to get the point across gently. She did text and send me a great big hug π
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmqQysAgYiI&t=6s
@PurpleDragon @evistre @tyghebright
Omg what an adorable way to "come out"! Do you think she already had an inkling? My husband and I had already figured it out so there was no surprise there. Hus knew she was going through some things. He let her know whatever it was, it wouldn't change his feelings. Then we just waited. Took another couple of years as she worked it out. So, we waited. β€οΈ
@Agatha @evistre @tyghebright
You're such great folks, wish there were more out there like you. π
I think a lot of people knew before I ever admitted it to myself. Have always presented more male throughout my life. Even marrying males to fit in even tho it didn't feel right. Still loved them but...
If I'd been able to sooner I'd have had the HRT and surgery but that horse has left the barn.
@PurpleDragon @evistre @tyghebright
Amazing the things we do to try to "fit in" that only make us feel like we fit in even less.
I'm sorry about being late to HRT/surgery. I feel for the trans kids, too. Unfortunately, the push back from the bigots is going to get worse before they're put back in their place (or before they give up & find a new group of people to fear-hate).
When I was a kid, I knew a few kids who were probably trans, but even in San Francisco they didn't dare come out early.
@Agatha π’ I watch the news and am heartbroken
@evistre @tyghebright
@PurpleDragon @evistre @tyghebright
Well know that I admire your strength and resiliency.
@Agatha @evistre @tyghebright
Just as there are many on here that I admire those exact qualities ππ
@PurpleDragon @evistre @tyghebright
Truth. We're a rag tag bunch of survivors, that's for sure. π
@evistre @tyghebright @PurpleDragon
My gender is "monster". My ethnicity is "mutant".
@PurpleDragon @mcfate @evistre @tyghebright
Yeah, I've made chili like that...
@grayman Unless it has Hatch green chilies in it, it's not chili, not in NM anyways lol
@tyghebright Yes. I like this attitude.
Explains enough. I agree.
@tyghebright Sure makes sense to me, more than the ever lengthening string of letters trying to catch up to a wide spectrum of human expression.
But then I'm not qualified to dictate the term by which other people call themselves. I'll just call them people.
i particularly like
queer doesn't insist
on hard lines
between categories
once lines are drawn
the assumption is to fit
in between the lines
contortions are made
just to fit in and then stuck
people are no more able
to be fully themselves
than before
with one dividing line
ability to change
and flow with shifting
realizations about yourself
is stuck as in one line system
instead
i am queer
know me as a person
see me as i am now
allow for future change
with passing of time
@tyghebright Queer is great, but I still kind of love CounterSexual. :)