I mentioned in previous posts that my tribemates and I have lived together as a family for almost 30 years now and that we all came from different types of abusive households. Holidays and such were always awful for us in different ways and when we first decided to live together and make our own family we talked about what we would or wouldn't do for holidays. We decided to do nothing and celebrate or not as we chose - something we were never allowed to do growing up.
Generally, holidays come and go for us. We don't do anything special and most times don't acknowledge them in any way. As a group we cook large meals and eat together throughout the year anyway and don't tend to equate any kind of special aspect to it. Usually we do coop gaming together, something we don't always have time for given our different work schedules.
One of the biggest "rules" surrounding the creation of our family was the concept of CHOICE, something we were all denied in our birth families. We choose openly. We discuss openly. If one of us wants to do something special, we say so and the others can choose to participate or not with no pressure or judgement. We are free to do as we wish and celebrate as we feel like or not. There is never a sense of "we have to do this or that" ... or "we should do this or that" ... that doesn't exist here.
There was one Thanksgiving many years ago where one of us was having a craving for the typical fare and two of us didn't want it but we absolutely agreed to help pitch in to shop and help cook even though we had no intention of eating it. But just the act of helping and cooking together was fun and helping our fellow tribemate have the foods she wanted was what we're all about. It harms none of us to contribute and helps the others in a positive way. That's how we see it.
@thewebrecluse Good for you!!! It feels good to do for others.. have a blessed day either way you celebrate!