: one from my IG back in late 2014
#experience #observation #society #people #behavior
#AspieLife #neurallyatypical #actuallyautistic #residentalien #theweirdkid
@thedisasterautist
Exactly. When the rubber meets the road, most people just talk a good game.
@CinnamonGirlE: Affirmative. They like the novelty and the *idea* of the Different, but once the novelty wears off and the Alien must be worked with and adjusted to, it's usually fight-or-flight. Some aren't even serious about liking or even appreciating the Different at all, but they say it and act like it kinda because they don't want to be seen as judgmental or "mean" or isolationist or whatever.
@thedisasterautist
I honestly think I had rather someone be straight up with me. Nothing worse than someone pretending. Not saying I want them to be ugly, but don't pretend to be my friend and secretly not. Just steer me a wide berth. Or I can do it for them.
And yes, most people want to be thought of as kind and good even if they aren't.
@CinnamonGirlE: A lot of people also lie to themselves first and foremost, and then they don't realize they're putting on an act doomed to fail. So they believe they're who they want to be, and so they're being honest with you, just not with themselves, which is fucked up but true. Then they scramble when they realize, and then it's only a matter of time.
But yeah, some people are just ugh. I've had some people dislike me immensely and be my friend so they could hurt me up close. Crazy but 🤷♂️.
@CinnamonGirlE: I not have a circle, not IRL anyway. More people I know internationally routinely check up on me and correspond than people I've know in some cases for decades that live 20 to 60mins. away.
in re: healing and time: That's why I don't date. A sea of red flags, and nothing but bad/sad and painful experiences since 2011. Been lied to exponentially more than I haven't, up front, during, and even after. Better to be alone than wishing I was.
@thedisasterautist
My circle consists of a handful of friends, most of them spanning decades, although several live an hour or more away. My kids and sister complete it.
I am sorry to hear of your dating experiences. It's difficult to find someone worth risking the possibility of being hurt. I do think it's possible, but not necessarily easy.
@CinnamonGirlE: Meine kinder are in my circle, of course, as are their wives. Then there's my bestie in NYC, my bestie in NC, my bestie in TN, and friends in Dubai, England, Italy, Scotland, France, Australia, Jamaica, Kenya, Ireland, Mexico, Toronto, and on Malta.
@thedisasterautist
You have a big circle. 😊
@CinnamonGirlE: Only one of them is within 170 miles. I'm old-fashioned, I s'pose. A "circle" used to mean what I reckon kids now call a "squad". I love my frens. I just wish geography wasn't so dumb.
@thedisasterautist
I think that's right. I just call them the ones I love and trust and can count on. And vice versa. And the geography thing? Yes. I wish I had the superpower of astral projection.
@thedisasterautist
Yes, for sure some people believe they can do it. Not everybody is out to hurt us, but there are so many people out there who never look in a mirror, never heal from things, never examine themselves. Clueless that everyone else has to dance around them because of it. I do my best to keep a really tight circle. Sometimes that isn't possible I know.